I think we’re all striving for connection. We’re looking for that realization that we have a few kindred spirits out there, that we aren’t the only weird, messed-up souls in the universe. That we’re not the only ones searching for something more.
We think we can solve this connection conundrum by liking a few posts, by a good heart emoji and the pressing of the “Follow” button. But emptiness follows our heartbeats instead. Because instead of connection settling into the warm spot on the couch, comparison plops its big rear end down, right in the spot we were saving for someone else.
Comparison often presents itself in that way—uninvited but still showing up, over and over again. And we want so badly to tell it to leave, to get off our couches and out of our houses, but then we grow comfortable with it being there. Like a spider trapped under a jar that you’re too afraid to move.
That’s how I felt for a long time—comfortably uncomfortable with comparison. I just didn’t know how to get rid of it without harming my lifestyle, so I ended up asking it to stay the night. And then the week. And then I ended up asking comparison to move in with me, because it’s just too difficult to think of my life any other way.
So how do we make genuine connections without the side effects of comparison? How do we kick comparison out of the house to make room for a friend? How do we connect off the screens but also connect on them?
I don’t claim to have the end-all & be-all answers, but I can tell you my stories. I can tell you what works for me, and what doesn’t. It may look different for you, in your tiny corner of the world. I wish I could show up there, wherever you are, and give you a few encouraging words—telling you that it’s going to be okay. But since floo powder hasn’t been invented yet, I’m going to show up in your inboxes instead with a Four Part Challenge in Defeating Comparison and Choosing Connection (if you’ll let me).
I’ll be talking practically about the right ways for examination, the power of vulnerability and honesty, the importance of practicing gratitude, and viewing social media in a healthy light.
So let’s kick comparison off the couch and invite connection to sit, shall we?
Here’s a bit of a breakdown of how this challenge will work:
Day One: Step Back So You Can Step Up (Channing Tatum Style)
Day Two: Commenting, For Real
Day Three: Meet Your New Best Friend, Honesty
Day Four: Gratitude Attitude
Here's to showing up in love, honesty, and a whole lot of grace.